Avoiding Conflicts

Empathy

Avoiding conflicts is really the best bet. There are several things that a person can learn to do to avoid having conflict as a problem. One of the first skills that will help is called empathy. This means that you have the ability to really understand the other person's feelings. You will be sensitive to them in a way that makes you understand them better, giving you better understanding when there is a disagreement. To develop empathy there are several steps you can take, including:

  • Practice identifying what you think others might be feeling by looking at their facial expressions and body language. This is often a good clue as to how they are feeling.
  • Recognize that people can have different feelings about the same things. You might feel a certain way but others may feel very differently.
  • Know that feelings can change.... even feelings about one thing can be different at different times.
  • Predict feelings... imagine how others might feel about a particular thing.
  • Know the difference between things that are intentional.. people mean to do them; and unintentional....things that end up differently from what was intended.
  • Act fairly in all situations... treat others in the same fair way that you expect to be treated.
  • Express yourself with 'I' messages (we'll work on these later).
  • Show care and concern for others.

(Adapted from: Second Step A Violence Prevention Curriculum, Committee For Children, 1997)

When you can be empathetic you will get along better with others and have fewer conflicts. Life will be more pleasant.

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